


perfection

by muppetcrayz



Series: sad high school stuff [2]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2012-09-20
Packaged: 2017-11-14 17:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muppetcrayz/pseuds/muppetcrayz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Rosalyn Anna-Marie Lalonde, and this is the story of how you became weightless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	perfection

Since you were a little girl, you wanted to be perfect. And yes, 'perfection doesn't exist',but you were gonna be BETTER than perfect.  
When you were seven, perfect was knowing every Bach violin concerto.  
Ten? Prima ballerina.  
At sixteen, you want to be so thin you're weightless, floating right into a grand jeté.  
Your name is Rosalyn Anna-Marie Lalonde, and this is the story of how you became weightless.  
\--  
It all started with ballet.   
"Rose, dear, you'll be able to do this if you drop a couple pounds - just two or three."  
It was in front of 17 people you had to do it.  
You made the first note in your journal.  
January 17th - 5'2", 119.50 lb

You did that three pounds, the slow way. Eating right and exercising.  
January 31st - 116.00 lb  
And you thought a couple more would be good.  
goal by February 15th - 110.00 lb  
Five pounds, sixteen days? Easy.  
Got that, stopped eating. Wrote more.  
February 19th - 110.50 lb  
...  
February 29th - 108.30 lb  
...  
March 30th - 100.50 lb  
...  
April 17th - 95.75 lb

You're finally getting weightless.   
\--  
Your mother only noticed when you hit 91 - goal weight one. June 17th - an extra piece of gum.  
"Let's go out for dinner, Rose."  
"No thank you, I have class tonight." You just want her to leave you alone.  
"Rose, you're barely eating!" She shrieks and leaves again.  
You finger your collarbones.  
\--  
TG: rose  
TG: why arent you coming to school  
TT: Oh, I'm sick. Nothing much.  
TG: bullshit  
TG: how much do you weigh  
TT: Dave! You don't just ask women that!  
TG: rose i dont fucking care right now  
TG: tell me  
TT: 105, give or take a few.  
TG: ...  
TG: liar  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --  
\--  
At 87.10, you start falling down a lot, fainting, blacking out, but you're almost there. Final goal weight: 81.50.  
So. God. Damn. Close.  
You dance better you're thin you're so close.  
And then Dave finds you when you're passed out.

"Rose WHAT THE FUCK?" You remember him force feeding you a can of soup (140) and you remember how revolting chicken tastes going the other way.

You told him it was nothing over and over because you're close you're close you're close.  
\--  
School starts up again when you're at 86.50. Still.  
You'd stopped losing weight and started going to school, a routine that gets a little worse every day.  
6 am - wake up, get dressed, drink two cups of coffee (0) and eat a stick of gum (5)  
6:30 am - run a mile (-66)  
6:50 am - drive to school  
7:30 am - go to Honors History 11, be bugged by Dave  
8:20 am - AP Physics, be attacked by Jade  
9:10 am - AP Literature, watch John play with his phone  
10:00 am - Symphonic Choir, make Dave sing in your place  
10:50 am - AP Calculus, watch Jade answer every question  
11:40 am - Lunch, hide in the bathroom while John gets beat up and Dave kisses him better  
12:30 pm - Honors French 4, listen to Jade sing Lady Marmalade under her breath  
1:20 pm - drive to the studio  
1:40 pm - Pointe 3 (-313)  
3:00 pm - Ballet Technique 2 (-352)  
4:30 pm - go home finally  
4:50 pm - nap  
6:50 pm - homework  
8:00 pm - snack on an apple (95) and one string cheese (50)  
8:30 pm - run a mile (-66)  
9:00 pm - watch TV, talk to friends  
11:00 pm - go to bed

It's monotony at its worse.  
\--  
Finally, you hit that eighty-one-point-five and you, um.  
Collapse.  
And then they won't let you starve any more. Won't let you do what you want.  
You're forced into four-days-a-week outpatient therapy. Don't stop.  
\--  
Dave visits you three times a week to make you eat too much soup and bars the bathroom and makes John so goddamn jealous that he starts hurting himself again and none of this is going well.  
\--  
Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you're dying slowly.


End file.
